Marriage is a Choice

Marriage is a Choice

Poem:  Author Unknown

 

Marriage, as a choice, requires choices.

One must choose not once, but every day.

Life offers us a hundred thousand voices,

yet those we fail to hear fast fade away.

 

I choose you with all my wounded heart:

You and our two children.

All the rest lies in the distance, charming, but apart from the circle of the ones with whom I am blessed.

 

Our marriage isn’t easy, but our love is still the force that shapes my daily life.

I want us to be happy, and will move wherever I must to be your wife.

I am yours, I want you to be mine.

We will find a way, our wishes to combine.

MadeleineChiller-wedding-eringrant-gardenwedding-40

A Wedding Seen Through the Eyes of Love

As a producer and creative director over many decades I am familiar with working alongside other creatives, writers, musicians and artists.  Your talent radar goes OFF when you are around other gifted creatives.  This happened on Sunday morning.

The day before I was honoured to officiate the marriage of Brenton De Zylva and Cassie Mitchell.  The next day the bride was uploading photos onto Face Book ,as you do.  In one of the posts she published an account of the wedding which was written by her baby sister Georgia who was the junior bridesmaid.  Georgia is 10 years old.

I have asked for permission to publish this today.

I wanted to share it with you because it is such an exceptional account of a wedding through the eyes of wonder and of pure love.

Photo Cred by Barry Kearney.

Mr & Mrs de Zylva – by Georgia

“You may now kiss the bride,” announced the celebrant!

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, this fairy-tale recount doesn’t begin here it progressively unfolds with what really happens behind the scenes of my older sister Cassie’s wedding!

img_4743

Instead of just having a wedding day why not have a wedding week!

And that’s basically what occurred for my sister during this crazy time of ‘wedding ness’. It’s stressful, exciting and a lot of fun! It’s especially awesome if you are part of the bridal party because it tells you that you mean something quite special to either the bride or groom.
I was especially fortunate to be a bridesmaid for my sister.   I was accompanied by 2 other girls, my other sister Sarah and Cassie’s best friend, that she’s know for 15 years, Steph.

img_4742

It was an absolute honour to be a Junior  bridesmaid!

During the week many little things were being taken care of, prepared for or practiced for the special occasion!

The 24th of Feb 2017.   It was a little bit frightening knowing that my sister was actually get married the next day. On this day we did a few quite special things to make this wedding become what every girl dreams of a wedding being! This included a spray tans, manicures and much more!

The night of the wedding I was lucky enough to get too stay with my sister/bride. We stayed in a very secluded little cottage in Yerring! Before I drifted to sleep I watched a movie Now and Then with my sister! And seeing as though it was getting late we paused the movie for a bit and eventually fell asleep!

“Wakey, Wakey” murmed Cassie.  Apparently  I woke up with the biggest smile on my face. It was ‘the day’,  not just any day ‘the wedding day’!  I was just bursting with excitement and happiness, I just couldn’t believe that my sister was finally getting married. I just couldn’t explain how joyful I was and I was soooooooo happy that my sister had found the one for her!

Unfortunately I had to awaken at 6:30am that morning to begin because things were going to get crazy at 8:30am with the makeup artist and hairdresser both arriving! We had a schedule so things wouldn’t turn out boncos but I’m pretty positive that things would have been quite fine if there wasn’t a plan.  I had my hair done before makeup and seeing as though I’ve got lots of hair,  a hairstyle wasn’t to hard to create! In the end I had my hair curled and in a braid to the side. My makeup also looked equally awesome! Cassie was lucky enough to have won a contest and she won a wedding videographer! We also had the photographer there during the day.

We’re finally dressed and ready to roll after many photos and relaxing! I was wearing a pale pink dress and it was a bit chilli on the night so I got a bit cold.

Once we arrive at the venue I couldn’t believe that it was actually happening. It was so nerve racking seeing all of the people watching! As I walked down the aisle I became less and less nervous!

img_4735

During the ceremony I felt like bursting into tears because I was so happy, especially when they signed the paper work to finalise there long lasting marriage.

“And now you may kiss the bride” announced the celebrant! My sister was no longer a Mitchell she was now a de Zilva.

At the end of the ceremony it was time for photos and more photos and more! It seemed as though it never ended. I greeted many family members end it seemed as though the night never ended but of course it had to, and at the end of night I couldn’t have been any happier for my dearest sister!

And I dearly hope that my sister has her happily ever after……..

by 10 year old Junior Bridesmaid Georgia.

img_4736

 

Were Did Wedding Customs Come From

When planning a wedding the list of rituals and ceremonies to cover can actually get quite long.    A white wedding dress, matching bridesmaids dresses,  wedding veils,  something borrowed something blue,  rings on the fourth finger of the left hand,  wedding cakes and sayings like tying the knot and giving your hand in marriage.    What about the bouquet, the garter toss??  All of these rituals and ceremonies have a history and a beginning.  Most are steeped in folk lore and involve good luck and protection from evil spirits.

Where did all of these things come from?

1. The custom of placing rings on the fourth finger of the left hand came from the Egyptians who believed that there is a vein of love that runs from from the heart to the fourth finger on the left hand signifying both the union of the hands and hearts.

2. Queen Victoria is credited with starting the Western world’s white wedding dress trend in 1840 — before then, brides simply wore their best dress.

3:  Custom of the Eternity Ring.  The custom of the eternity ring is thousands of years old and dates back to ancient Egypt.  Wedding eternity rings are designed to symbolize the never-ending circle of both love and life.  The Egyptians believed that love was eternal and was stronger than death.

bridesmaid

 

4. If your bridesmaids are less than thrilled about matching dresses, tell them they’re good luck! The tradition of matching maids dates back to Roman times, when people believed evil spirits would attend the wedding in attempt to curse the bride and groom (how rude). Bridesmaids were required to dress exactly like the bride in order to confuse the spirits and bring luck to the marriage (source).

5. On a similar note, brides traditionally wear veils because ancient Greeks and Romans believed they protected her from evil spirits (source).

6. Tossing the Bouquet.  Tossing the bouquet is a tradition that stems from England. Women used to try to rip pieces of the bride’s dress and flowers in order to obtain some of her good luck. To escape from the crowd the bride would toss her bouquet and run away.   Sounds terrifying to me.

7. The original version of the Wedding Cake could give you a headache.  One of the first traditions began in Ancient Rome where bread was broken over the bride’s head to bring good fortune to the couple. In Medieval England cakes were stacked as high as possible for the bride and groom to kiss over.

img_0982-1

8. Ever wondered where the phrase “tying the knot” came from? In medieval days couples hands were bound together or hand fasted.  It may have been a year before the local cleric or priest came though the celtic village so the couple would bind their hands together in a small ceremony before the community to pledge their love and committment to each other and to be hand fast or to tie the knot.

handfasting

 

10. Where did the Honey Moon come from? “Honeymoon” also has origins that date back to the 5th century, when cultures represented calendar time with moon cycles. Back then, a newlywed couple drank mead (the “honey”) during their first moon of marriage. Mead is a honey-based alcoholic drink believed to have aphrodisiac properties.

In some very early honeymoon origins, including (but not just) Scandinavian, it involves kidnapping.  Many brides were kidnapped by their grooms.  They were then hidden away for months, until either their family stopped looking for them or they became pregnant (and thus it was considered too late for the marriage to be nullified) (source).

11:  History of the bridal bouquet.  The custom of carrying bouquets originated in ancient times, when it was believed that carrying or wearing strong-smelling herbs and spices would ward off evil spirits, ill health and bad luck. Later, Romans extended this tradition, when the bride and groom both wore garland made of herbs and spices that were expected to bring good luck and fertility. An actual bouquet came to symbolize a bride in bloom.

 

wedding-bouquetTraditional Celtic bouquets included ivy, thistle and heather. If a bride carried sage, the flower of wisdom, she was to become wise. If she carried dill, the flower of lust, well, she became lusty (if that’s a word). Flower girls would carry sheaves of wheat, which symbolized growth and fertility (Source).

12:  Diamonds are Forever?  Until the 19th century, all sorts of gems and stones were given to symbolise betrothal,  even thimbles.  The use of the diamond as an engagement ring really came about through a successful advertising campaign.  In the 1930s, when demand for diamond rings declined in the U.S. during hard economic times, the De Beers Company began an aggressive marketing campaign using photographs of glamorous movie stars swathed in diamonds. Within three years, the sales of diamonds had increased by 50 percent.

In 1947, De Beers launched its now classic slogan, “A Diamond is Forever.” This campaign spurred even more sales. The implied durability of a diamond conveyed the meaning in the American psyche that marriage is forever. A diamond’s purity and sparkle have now become symbols of the depth of a man’s commitment to the woman he loves in practically all corners of the world.

I hope you found this as interesting as I did.  Lisa.

 

Humorous Wedding Poems

I often get asked about humorous or light-hearted readings for weddings so I thought that I would put a few alternatives up here for you to choose from.  x Lisa.

A Short Wedding Reading About Love

Wild Awake

by Hilary T Smith

“People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square.

Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.”

shoes-bridal

He’s Not perfect by Bob Marley

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect.

But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can.

He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break.

Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give.

Don’t analyse. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there.

Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

 

girl-laughing

Poem She’s Not Perfect

I often hear people in love,

as they speak about the ones they love.

They say odd things,

spouting out heavy words,

as though they are weightless.

“Perfection.”

“Flawless.”

The one I love?

Well, she’s none of those things.

She’s not perfect.

She’s not flawless.

She’s human.

See, she has thing about her,

an appeal that I can’t seem to understand.

She can be stubborn at times,

over the oddest of things

(but don’t tell her I said that,

otherwise she’ll eat me alive).

But, I love that about her.

Her stubbornness makes her a fighter…

in the good way, as her nature makes me want to be better.

When she is stubborn,

she makes me giggle – yes, me giggle…

but sometimes, she makes me furious.

Both because she becomes so passionate,

that nothing can stop her until she gets what she wants.

But, I intend on being her greatest feat of stubbornness,

as I, too, am made up of imperfections.

And it is together, that we make perfect.

At times, she’s indecisive.

Oh, how indecisive.

It flusters me often,

as I am very quick to decide,

and once I’m convinced,

it takes a lot to push me aside.

I guess that makes me stubborn too.

Her, she is indecisive,

and stubborn – a deadly combination.

But, I love that about her.

I like to watch as she tries to figure things out.

I sometimes imagine her scrunching up her nose,

thinking and coming up with ideas,

and sometimes coming up with nothing

more than a deeper confusion.

You see, I’m not perfect either.

Of that, I can assure you.

I try to be the best I can,

but in the end, I remain human.

But, I have an objective.

A goal, a vision.

To be the one that can relieve her.

The one who untangles her mind

when over thinking leaves her in knots.

The one who, when I am the cause of distraught,

can embrace the opportunity to make her feel better.

And why do I hold this objective?

Because she does these same things for me,

whether she knows it or not,

even when sometimes, she causes these knots.

But, she’s worth it.

Now, I won’t claim the expected,

that our imperfections make us perfect for each other.

The fact is, we’re both a mess.

We’re imperfect.

We’re flawed.

We’re human.

There may even be someone out there,

for each of us,

that might be “perfect”

on paper,

or in the thoughts of others.

But, what makes us,

is that despite all of that,

we love one another.

Copyright © Nadir Keval

On Love

This is an extraordinary poem on love by Thomas Kempis.  Thomas à Kempis (ca. 1380-1471) was a priest, monk and writer.

enduring-love-brooch-1-e1422655206418-520x520

On Love 

Love is a mighty power,

a great and complete good.

Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth.

It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders

all bitterness sweet and acceptable.

Nothing is sweeter than love.

 

Nothing stronger,

Nothing higher,

Nothing wider,

Nothing more pleasant,

Nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God.

 

Love flies, runs and leaps for joy.

It is free and unrestrained.

Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds.

Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil,

attempts things beyond its strength.

 

Love sees nothing as impossible,

for it feels able to achieve all things.

It is strange and effective,

while those who lack love faint and fail.

 

Love is not fickle and sentimental,

nor is it intent on vanities.

Like a living flame and a burning torch,

it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle.

 

Love Poems for Weddings

On Our Wedding Day

 By Mand

Published on October 3, 2016

Be with me whenever you can. Love me for what I am.

Convince me when I am in doubt. Give me hope when I seem without.

Respect me, show me you care. Stand by me, always be there.

Forgive me if I should do wrong. Caress me when nights seem so long.

Assure me, allay my fears. Be faithful throughout the years.

Trust me as I will trust you. Encourage my dreams my life through.

Be with me whenever you can. Love me for what I am.

 

You Touched My Hand

“You touched my hand and reached my thoughts,

You kissed my lips and reached my heart,

 

You looked into my eyes and touched my soul.

No words were said, no thoughts exchanged.

Through only a touch you changed me,

With only a kiss you moved me,

With only a look you brought me life.”

 

What is Love?

by Anne Landers

Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad times.
It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
Love is a hand to hold when times are dark.
love
To The Love Of My Life
© Carson BalddwinPublished on February 2015

It is a stepThat I am willing to Take with you.
I want to risk Everything whenI say, “I do.”

From here on out I wish to declare
All of my love That we share.
When you ask me
How I feel,
I say it is a mixture
Of passion that will heal.
It is a powerful thing
That I cannot explain,
But I want to overcome
Every joy and every pain.
Through the many tears
That will be shed,
Through all the good times and the bad,
I am glad
That I will spend it with you.
For our love is so very strong,
And when we are old,
I want you to know
That I have risked
Everything with you Until our dying breath
From that day
I said, “I do.”
 Matt and Tanya Wedding
The Secrets Of A Good Marriage

© Ellie Kelsch

Published on July 2011

Growing up I’ve learnt about love, I’ve been surrounded by it everyday. I’m so glad you’ve both found it, And it’s why we’re here today.

They say there’s secrets to a good marriage, That there are rules to obey,
But the most important rules of love,
Are what you two do everyday.

It’s the ‘hey babes’ in the morning, It’s how she makes his tea,
It’s the way he smiles at her, Such a sweet thing to see.

It’s never being to old to hold hands, Or to watch movies on the couch, It’s accepting all the flaws,
Even when the other’s a grouch.

It’s telling him he’s not going grey, It’s the ‘You look fine in those jeans’ It’s ignoring the mid-life crisis,
and all her little ‘scenes’.

It’s facing the world as one,
And it’s more than love at first sight, It’s together being a family,
Each and every day and night.

It’s the way he looks into her eyes,

Lisa Hunt-Wotton

It’s the way that she looks too, It’s why they stand before us, and it’s why they said ‘I do’.

And now I stand here today,
On this important moment in life, With two people very in love, Now husband and wife.

Growing up, I’ve learnt about love,
and seeing it today proves it true,
You’ve both taught me so much,
And I’d be lucky to be half as happy as you.

 Olya s
Love Is Here To Stay

Its very clear, our love is here to stay

Not for a year, but forever and a day

The radio and the telephone,

And the movies that we know

May just be passing fancies

And in time may go

But, oh my dear

Our love is here to stay

Together we’re going a long long way

In time the Rockies may crumble

Gibraltar may tumble

They’re only made of clay

But our love is here to stay

 

Ella Fitzgerald

Spectacular Wedding in the Secret Garden

What a spectacular day at the Sky High ‘secret garden’ at Mount Dandenong.  The sun was shining and the flowers blooming.  Absolutely magnificent couple and stunning location.  I was so privileged to be a part of this special day.

Thank you to Jess and Dan for this very beautiful review.  It was such a special day.

img_2868

Jessica T. on 30 Dec, 2016

“Lisa was absolutely amazing. We honestly couldn’t have asked for a better celebrant. She made us feel so comfortable and at home from the very first meeting. My now husband and I left the consultation and took one look at each other and said YES we found our celebrant. With Lisa you get some ‘homework’ which was brilliant because it actually helped Lisa to get to know our story and our love for one another. She wrote the most amazing ceremony and included our parents in it which they loved. I even had guests say that Lisa got a little emotional! That was very true, Lisa is such a genuine, down to earth person. She made us so comfortable with the whole process and she definitely hasn’t seen the last of us! We will be recommending her to everyone we know. Thank you for all your hard work and support for our wedding. It was truly magical. Thank you, Daniel and Jessica-Kate Fordham. ❤”

 15000233_10153819549222434_3014253609165535927_o

Photo Credit:  Will Chao

 

Wedding Date : 10 Nov, 2016

Venue:  Secret Garden Category: Marriage Celebrant

Gorgeous Garden Wedding

Gorgeous Wedding captured by Kerryn from Precise Moment Photography.

Precise Moment Photography is one of Melbourne’s leading wedding photography studios based in the northern suburb of Craigieburn.   If you are looking for a wedding photographer who is professional, friendly and knows how to capture your individual wedding day story in a candid, natural way with an artistic flair without having to worry about posing for your photos all day, then look no further!

ABIA Top 10 Victorian Wedding Photography Finalist 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 & 2016.

This wedding was held at Bram Leigh Receptions:    Known for its romantic fairy lit gardens, exceptional cuisine, stunning chandelier lit ballroom and hundreds of onsite photo opportunities; you will soon discover why Bram Leigh is an Award Winning venue set at the foot hills of the Dandenong Ranges, the gateway to Yarra Valley.

wedding-in-the-garden-rotunda

We had a lot of fun at this relaxed and happy wedding.  The nerves got the better of the groom at one stage and I had to jokingly introduce them to one another.  “Nathan, I would like to introduce you to Beth – you can take her hand she is a very nice girl and won’t bite”.  It was a very funny moment.

nathan-meet-beth

 

The bride and groom chose the ‘mother of the groom’ to be one of the witnesses which is a lovely opportunity to honour someone you love.

signing-the-register

It was a stunning day at such a beautiful venue.  The quiet gazebo was a perfect place for this precious moment.

 

The Perfect Wedding

Over the last three weeks I’ve done four weddings.  All of them in gardens and each one exquisite and unique.   With each wedding that I do, the more I realise that you can have the ‘perfect wedding’ IF it truly reflects who you are.  It has nothing to do with money or glamour.  It is all to do with honesty, love and deep meaning.  It is about sharing that narrative with those in your wider circle of friends and family.  If it is authentic and truly represents who you are as a couple then you cannot get it wrong.  The flowers, the venue and dresses are all just props that support the heart beat of you as a couple.  This is what I desire to do when I create your perfect ceremony.

Stephen and Trisha held a small private wedding in the Fitzroy gardens.  They had a small budget and did everything themselves with the help of dear friends.  Trisha hand made origami lotus flowers which were handed out to each guest as they arrived.  I wore one on my wrist for the ceremony and used one as a book mark for the vows.

Trisha and Stephen had made lace bunting with a dream catcher in the centre. On each triangle of lace was a printed black and white photograph of the couple and their journey.  So simple, so endearing and so precious. When I arrived there were several families with children giggling and laughing as they hung the bunting between two trees which then became our back drop.  Patchwork quilts and floral cushions were scattered around the garden for the kids to sit on and enjoy the wedding.

Trisha friend had picked up a portable music system from the op shop and he played the music on a CD before and during the wedding. Another friend had written their names on a welcome sign which was once a painting but had simply been painted over and lovingly reclaimed.

Daniel and Jessica Kate had a divine garden wedding in the Secret Garden at the Sky High in the Dandenongs.  It was simple, stunning and so natural.  I had worked closely with the couple to get their thoughts and emotion into the ceremony.  The bride came down the aisle on the arm of her mother and the mother of the bride also did a heartfelt reading.

This is a little video I took before the guests arrived.

Erin and Grant held their wedding in the front yard of Erin’s Parents Home in Kilmore.  The connection to home was so precious as was the way that they included their baby girl and beloved family.  The bride and wedding party were stunning in chic and simple garden wedding attire with bouquets in native flowers.  In all it was a very private family affair, very relaxed with lots of laughs.

I think this shot caught by Madeleine Chiller Photography says it all.

12548895_1289842241031581_7877838192188684615_n-1

OR if you are looking for something very  different for your bridal party.  This wedding photographed outside Parliament House was show stopping in red and white.  The bride wore red and the girls chose different white dresses and were asked to add pieces of red.

img_2734

@vladsavinphotography Design by @liza_danilova_  Ribbon Dresses

Creator and Designer Liza Danilova Romanian Photographer based in Melbourne http://www.vladsavin.com.au

Lastly this very private forest wedding.   A tiny circle of friends and family held simply and perfectly.  The bride is very private and a little shy so this was the perfect venue for her.