Funerals are as individual as you are. Each of us have a story to tell.
As such a funeral should be carefully crafted to reflect the person who has died.
I am well known for telling my friends and family what I want for my funeral – I’ve even told them what I want for my tomb stone. “I told you I was sick”.
As a mother and step mother to six incredible kids, mother is the last on the list when she is sick. I’ve often told them they would step over me in the kitchen if I passed out, the main concern being “What is for dinner”. I want a big red curtain on the stage like in the theatre, I’ve even picked out my songs.
“Days like this” by Van Morrison
“When it’s not always raining there’ll be days like this
When there’s no one complaining there’ll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there’ll be days like this”.
And Harrry Connick Jnr version of “Good By Joe”: “Goodbye Joe me gotta go me oh my oh”.
OOHHHH and I want lots and lots of flowers. LOTS
Why am I telling you this?
Well I’m really concerned that as a Western culture we don’t embrace death. In fact we do everything we can to avoid it. If we don’t discuss these things, chat about them with each other then how will we ever know?
- Do you want to be buried or cremated?
- If you want to be cremated where do you want your ashes scattered?
I have a friend who since her mother has died has taken on the task to travel to as many countries as she can. In each place she scatters a bit of her mother. Her mother never got to travel. She figures better late than never.
My husband insisted as he was dying of cancer that he wanted to be cremated. In fact for as long as we had been married he had wanted to be cremated and his ashes scattered over the Murray River. Then weeks before he died he insisted that he wanted to be buried? He changed his mind. So we buried him.
My mother is 84, she has led a very creative and colourful life. Her great grand children call her ‘super gran’. When she dies she wants me to assemble the grandchildren and great grandchildren and have them paint her coffin???
Is this making you uncomfortable? It shouldn’t.
These are all examples of how our death should reflect how we have lived.
Have a think about it. Chat about it with friends and family. Break the taboos, it all helps the grieving process.